The Crunchy Car

So yesterday we decided to look around at cars. I've always wanted a hatchback and since our cars are both not doing so hot, we had started looking online at cost and specifics of cars that we may want. I liked the Ford Focus, but since I drive 55+ miles per day, I really needed something that was going to save on gas if we were going to have another car payment....

So we bought a Prius.

Isn't it cute!?!?! 

We were so proud of ourselves because we got a good deal, and stuck with our guns about the monthly payment amount. We have now dubbed the Prius "The Crunchy Car." 

Happy Easter, everyone!

Multiple Musings

So I have a confession... I haven't weighed myself in almost a month. I hadn't lost more than a few ounces since December and I was starting to get frustrated. No matter how hard I was working out or how well I was eating, the scale didn't move. It was so frustrating because I feel better than I ever have. My body can do pretty much whatever I ask of it. So I put away the scale. 

This week also marks six months since I've worn Spanx. I used to wear them everyday, for over two years. Even in the summer. I was embarrassed about how I looked without them. In September, I decided that I felt better without them. And I feel like I even look better too.

I am making vegan chocolate cupcakes with buttercream frosting and spring time quinoa salad for Easter dinner. Nom.

Self Injury Awareness Day

I have struggled with depression and self injury my entire life. It started as a young teenager, when I realized that cutting myself made me feel less anxious about pretty much everything. When I was finally diagnosed with depression at the age of 15, medication helped with the extreme emotions, but it made me feel completely apathetic to everything. The cutting got worse on medications. I had an abusive boyfriend who put me down and made me feel like garbage. When he dumped me, I cut up my entire arm. After that day, December 4, 2003, I decided I would stop. The first three months of not cutting were really hard, but I didn't slip. 

I have never gotten over the struggle with cutting. When I'm going through stressful or depressed times, I have to keep myself in check. I can't be alone around razors or pocket knives. It's actually harder for me to not cut than it is to not smoke.

I have self-inflicted scars all over my body to remind me that my past is real. Self injury is real, and well-adjusted people struggle with it. Please visit TWLOHA for more information.

Evolving Workouts

When I first started working out last year, I started with the elliptical I have in the basement. We bought this off of Craigslist for $100, it's a really cheap elliptical. I would do this for 20ish minutes several times weekly while watching a TV show. This helped me maintain my weight while I quit smoking. Then we had a gym open up about 10 minutes away with fees of $10 per month. I was not able to pass this up. I've been going to Planet Fitness since it opened in July 2012. At first, I started with walking on the treadmill and continuing with the elliptical. I also started training for my first 5k. I started weight lifting, and I really enjoy it. That's also where I've noticed the most difference in my body. A few weeks ago, I bought a Groupon for fitness classes. I've never been comfortable in classes, I feel like a group is not the way to go for me. I tried yoga and loved it, but definitely not the classes. I have been doing some of the stretches I learned at home. My sister got me to try Zumba, which I really thought I would hate. I absolutely love it. It's fun, and you don't even realize you've been working out for an hour. I've grown to love my workout time, and it is ever evolving. I'm hoping to try a boot camp next!

Vegan Baking

I've been dabbling in vegan baking. Last week I made a vegan cinnamon cake and Guinness brownies. They were both sooo good, so I got a little adventurous today and made chocolate avocado cupcakes with vegan buttercream (1 cup of vegan margarine, 3 cups powdered sugar, 2 to 3 tablespoons of almond milk, and 1 tablespoon of vanilla). They were the most delicious thing I have ever baked. Ever. We are not vegan, but do want to watch our cholesterol and fat intake. Nathan's dad died when he was young due to a heart attack, and I have heart disease in my family. I also want to reach my ideal weight by the end of the year, so we are introducing more vegan meals and keeping up the exercise. Stay healthy, friends.

Gun control, stress eating, and other rants.

So I'm feeling some stress tonight. First off, I have seen several posts on Facebook and elsewhere talking about how Sandy Hook was a hoax or conspiracy by the Obama administration to get people riled up about gun control... Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? Lots of people died, most of them small children and you are going off on crazy rants? I guess there is a 30 minute video to go along with this, but I have a life and no time to watch a 30 minute gun crazy circle jerk. No one is coming to take away all of the guns.  We just want the rules that we have to be enforced and some new ones to be made to make these massacres less frequent. Someone posted a comment to the video in question saying that if Vicki Soto would have had a gun, the whole thing could have been stopped. This makes me rage on a whole new level. My little sister is a first year teacher, and the picture that really made Sandy Hook hit home to me was the picture of Vicki's sister waiting to hear of her fate. I feel like Vicki could have been my sister, as I know Angela would do the same thing in that situation. And the thought of her carrying a gun to school makes me so angry. A hand gun would have done nothing. The guy was wearing a bullet proof vest and had an automatic weapon. He would have gotten off 10 shots before she drew the gun anyway. Enough about guns...

I have been under some stress for the past few days, and I find it fascinating how my reaction to stress has changed. I used to curl up into a ball, smoke 10 cigarettes, and eat $20 worth of Taco Bell by myself. Now, I did just send Nathan for some volcano nachos, but I also went for a run tonight. I crave exercise now instead of cigarettes or tons of food. I'm still letting myself eat what I want, just lesser quantities. My goal is to maintain my weight and keep working out while I'm so stressed.

Am I a Crunchy Geek, Too?

So I married a geek. Like one that loves Star Trek, Doctor Who, and is a programmer/IT guy. I've always loved Star Wars and horror, but for many years, avoided anything that would make me seem like a dork. Finally when I hit my early 20's (after being married for several years!), I started to give new sci-fi a chance. I started with Firefly and really enjoyed it. 

Nathan finally had me watch Battlestar Galactica. I highly recommend this series for any sci-fi fan, especially those into apocalyptic fiction. I became obsessed with the characters. I even got people at work into the show. After I watched the entire series in an embarassingly short period of time, Nathan got me to watch Doctor Who. I've managed to avoid some of the Star Trek movies and have only watched a handful of Star Trek episodes. 

I prefer post apocalyptic sci-fi to the hopeful universe Star Trek embodies. Probably because I'm more of a horror fan anyway. I love zombies. I love fast (Danny Boyle) zombies. I love 28 Days Later. I do appreciate the shamblers, but they don't terrify the way the sprinters do. I think part of the reason I started running was so I would be in shape for the zombie apocalypse, but as of my Zombie Buffet 5k in October, I failed miserably. I was "dead" by the quarter mile mark. (Note to file: I don't really believe the zombie apocalypse is coming)

I know being a geek isn't about the shows we watch. I also love science. I'm a vet tech because I love medicine. I love cooking because I love chemistry. 

I spent many years denying myself of things that I would enjoy because I thought I would be labeled in a certain way. How silly is that? I guess I will spend my time being a crunchy geek then.